RIP Ford Escort from Hell!

[lovetriangle]

Well, it's all over. It can torment us no more...

Ford Escort, aka Satan's Chariot
b. 1982, in Hell
d. 2007, Los Angeles

The DH's car died. Not only did it die, but it died a fiery death reminiscent of its fiery birth (in HELL) so it is not even possible for us to pour any more money into it. We are lucky that my DH had made it home and Claire wasn’t with him when it went up in flames. At least the firemen were very sweet about the whole thing…

My folks said “Let us know how we can help.” At this point, the only way to help is to fly around the earth so fast it turns back time to just before that wretched thing came into our lives and give us that brief chance to say, "No thanks."

I think the demon-car had some kind of spell on it because even the firemen said, “Wow, an old Ford Escort – that’s a classic! I’ve never seen one have a problem like THIS before!” Every time we towed that hellspawn to the garage, the mechanics would always say, “It’s so clean. I don’t know why it would break on you.” See? Evil spell. The only one I blame in all this is the mechanic dad bought it from. If he was servicing this Carriage of Beelzebub, he must have known what a lemon it was. I hope he is plagued by 1000 festering sores to have sold such an evil thing.

In its usual style, it did not live long enough to get to the finish line and screwed us with its dying gasp. We will be a 3-person family with a 2-seater car until mid-April at the very least. It is *ahem* inconvenient, to say the least. Then again, how many times can you get mad about the same damn thing? We can only laugh at this final middle-finger from the Worst Car Ever Owned (tm).

So, to the WCEO(tm) I say, "You are finally free to serve your dark master, so Get Thee Behind Me and Plague Me No More!"

Now what?

Comments

[sewphisticate.livejournal.com]

Jeebus! Glad everyone's okay. What's next? Hopefully, a car that works. Digits crossed on your behalf....

[love3angle.livejournal.com]

How many digits do you have to spare? Our auto-luck has sucked for years. LOL! It even took the Rosary with it - it's melted to the mirror! More evidence of its eeeeevil...

[laurenmonkey.livejournal.com]

HA! that's one of the freakiest things ever. Toasted rosary.

[mc-cadieux.livejournal.com]

♫ Burn baby, burn, what an inferno!!! ♫

Holy shit! Thank goodness no one got hurt ^.^

[colleency.livejournal.com]

I'm glad he got out okay. (((hugs)))

[systemgoddess.livejournal.com]

Daahyum! Well it can torment you no more. And I know it isn't funny but your adjectives cracked me up. Carriage of Beelzebub!
Crossing my fingers that a GOOD car is on your horizon.

[gary-kephart.livejournal.com]

Wow. Glad everyone is home safe. At least it didn't die on you in the middle of the night while travelling alone up to Northern Faire. Pre-cell phone days. That was not fun. colleency might remember hearing about that.

Remember Brimstone?

[fitchwitch.livejournal.com]

There was a short lived TV series called Brimstone. A former cop (who had killed the man who raped his wife) had been killed and went to Hell. After he arrived, 113 souls broke out. He was sent out of Hell to retrieve them. If he retrieved all 113, he would be restored to life. He would send them back by shooting out their eyes.

In one episode, he was given a car by Satan. Since he lived in LA, it was very hard to get around without a car. Everytime he REALLY needed the car to run to catch a bad guy, it would stop running. It would then start up with no problem when it was too late. At the end of the episode, he SHOT OUT THE HEADLIGHTS, and sent the car back to Hell.

Sounds like your Ford was a relative of his. If you destroy it's headlights, it might change your luck! LOL!